“Hey, you’re the one who keeps telling me how swamped you are around here. Mumph always had Asil to help him keep up with everything, so why shouldn’t you have an assistant? And as your deputy I took it upon myself to ensure that you have the help you need.”

    Hatman pinched the bridge of his nose, preparing for the inevitable headache that was waiting to strike. “Okay, fine, we’ll do interviews for an assistant. But who’s going to run that press conference I h ad scheduled?”

    Dream smiled his rest-assured smile that Hatman feared so much. “I’ve got it covered.”

    “Awwright, pipe down! Br’er Trickshot’ll take yer questions, but one at a time ya vultures!”

    “So, who’s first?” asked Hatman, settling in behind his desk. Dream pulled a chair up beside him and flipped it around backwards before sitting down.

    CrazySugarFreakBoy! pulled a list from his backpack, then lowered his Gawker Goggles so they rested on the very end of his nose. In his best British accent, he answered the Capped Crusader. “Well, I couldn’t get a hold of Asil. I wanted to give her first crack in the event she decided to stay here, though we all knew she’d take off after Sir Mumphrey. So, that leads us to interview number 1, Katarina Allen!”

    Kat walked into the office and took a seat. “Okay then Kat, why do you want this position?” asked Hatman.

    “I don’t want it that badly, to be honest. I just felt that if you need the help, I should help where I can. If I’m going to be here anyway, I should at least try to pull my own weight,” she said.

    “You have been,” Hatman assured her. “I appreciate the offer Kat, but if you don’t mind continuing on in the Monitor Room that’s help enough as it is.”

    Kat brightened at the mention of Monitor Duty. “That would suit me just fine.”

    “Thanks a lot Kat, I appreciate it,” smiled Hatman.

    “No problem. See you guys later,” she waved as she exited the office.

    Hatman turned to CSFB!. “You know she’s happy on Monitor Duty, why’d you bring her in for the assistant position?”

    The Wired Wonder shrugged. “I figured if she’d taken it it would’ve gotten under Clancy’s skin.”

    Hatman sighed. “Who’s next?”

    Dream consulted his list. “Next up is Beth Shellet.”

    “I assure you Mr. Foxglove, I am not Miss Shellet,” said the woman in the doorway.

    “Hagatha!” Hatman reflexively removed the cap on his head. The old woman had chastised him rather harshly the first time he had visited Covenant House and failed to remove it.

    “Now then, would the two of you explain why I was summoned here?” The witch glared at the two Legionnaires. It occurred to Hatman that as he hadn’t dated Sorceress for quite some time now he didn’t have to take the attitude from her grandmother anymore, but this didn’t seem like the time to act on that realization.

    “We’re doing interviews for Hatty’s personal assistant!” replied CSFB! cheerily, oblivious to the cold hard stare Hagatha was giving the two of them.

    If Hatman could kill with a look CrazySugarFreakBoy! would have been reduced to a pile of ashes in an instant.

    “You brought me here for what?”

Hatman gulped, because he figured that even though he couldn’t kill with a look, that didn’t mean Hagatha had the same limitation.

    “Umm, that’s not why we asked you here, Hagatha. We just, uh, wanted to offer you a room in the mansion, in case you needed, uh, protection, during this SR1066 business,” Hatman improvised quickly.

    “I do not need your protection, boy,” hissed Hagatha. “I am more than capable of taking care of myself. Good day.” The witch turned and left.

    After the door was shut Hatman wheeled about on CSFB!. ‘You asked HAGATHA?!” he roared.

    “No way man, even I’m not that crazy. I don’t know who invited her, I swear!” Dream held up his hands in surrender and offered a weak smile.

    Elsewhere in the Lair Mansion, Dominic Clancy chuckled to himself and whistled a jaunty tune.

To be continued…by whoever wants to!

If you have someone in mind for Hatman’s personal assistant, whether it’s a serious candidate or you just want to torture Hat with the idea of someone in the role, write up the scene! I’ll do the finale after a few days to give people time to write in their scene.

Be gentle.

~Hat~